


What It All Means

by Nopride4531



Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, But first he must suffer, Connor Deserves Happiness, Deviant Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Father-son dynamic, Gen, Good Parent Hank Anderson, Hurt Connor (Detroit: Become Human), Hurt/Comfort, Sickfic, Whump, Worried Hank Anderson
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-11
Updated: 2018-09-11
Packaged: 2019-07-10 21:45:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,105
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15958160
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nopride4531/pseuds/Nopride4531
Summary: Prior to meeting Connor, if anyone had told Hank he would one day care about an android, he would've decked them. But now, with Connor quickly fading in his arms, the only thought in his mind was this: he couldn't lose another son.Shameless angst about Hank Anderson and his android son.





	What It All Means

After the Revolution, Connor quickly realized he had nowhere to go. For the first time, there was no one telling him what to do, when to function, or, well, what to  _be._  He wandered for a little while, never staying in one place longer than necessary, unsure whether other deviants--those he'd once hunted--would accept him. Markus had tried to take him in, let him know he always had a place in New Jericho. Connor appreciated it; he truly did. But for the moment, while his processors tried to keep up with the rapidly changing present, he knew there was only one place he could go. One place where he truly felt... comfortable? No, it was more than that.  _Safe._  The one place he truly felt safe.

If Connor analyzed things correctly, Hank was happy enough to see him show up on his doorstep. Of course, he attempted to hide it, covering up a smile with a  _"get your ass inside before you freeze to death, you idiot."_  Connor had held back a retort 

_("Androids do not feel the cold, Lieutenant.")_

and stepped into the house. Sumo had greeted him with an elated bark, and Connor had smiled despite himself. All things considered, he  _was_  happy to be around Hank and his dog again. He wasn't... accustomed to feeling anything as a Deviant, not yet, but he supposed it would get better with time. Until then, he was content to accompany Hank back to the station, rejoin the Detroit Police, and get back to work. Only this time, he wouldn't hunt those whose only crime (and it wasn't really a crime at all) was wanting to be free.

All of that had happened nearly a month ago. Now, as Connor sat on the couch in Hank's living room, pale hands folded together in a tight, but not uncomfortable position, he couldn't help but smile to himself. Things were, arguably, starting to go back to normal, though the constant tension between humans and the now free androids was practically palpable. Connor knew it would stay that way for a while, but he had to admit, it troubled him. He had every ounce of confidence in Markus that he could muster, but sometimes, it felt like it wasn't enough. Connor wanted to do more to help. But, times like these, he wasn't sure where to even begin.

**WARNING: STRESS LEVELS AT 23% AND RISING**

The red "error" message that shot across his vision made him blink--and rapidly at that. Gently pressing two fingers to the side of his head, Connor ran a self-diagnostic and frowned when it came back with nothing. All of his systems seemed to be functioning normally. But if that was the case, then why were his stress levels rising? He'd had a pretty standard week. Nothing too exciting had happened at the precinct, save for a case involving a dangerously rogue deviant. But he and Hank had easily dealt with that, even managed to save the deviant from itself--and the humans that wanted it dead. Connor, in all honesty, had nothing to stress about. So then why--

**WARNING: STRESS LEVELS AT 30% AND RISING**

"You okay there, Connor?" 

At the sound of Hank's voice, Connor immediately snapped out of his trance and plastered a small smile on his face. Hank stood in the doorway to the kitchen, Sumo at his side. He looked tired, but nothing like the days from before Connor had gotten to know him. It was a good kind of tired, the type most people felt after a rewarding day. Nevertheless, Connor didn't feel like burdening him with anything out of the ordinary.  
  
"Just fine, Lieutenant," he said. "Only running a diagnostic."

"Uh huh." Judging from Hank's tone, he didn't believe a word of that. He watched the android with an unreadable look in his eyes, though with his analytical systems, Connor could just barely detect a trace of concern. "Then why's your LED flashing red?"

**WARNING: STRESS LEVELS AT 39% AND RISING**

Blinking, Connor softly shook his head and tried to dismiss the subject. "I don't know. It might have something to do with the intensity of our most recent cases." It wasn't completely a lie, but he felt compelled to add: "It's nothing serious."

Hank gave him a look, one that clearly said he knew there was more to this than the android was letting on, but he thankfully let it slide. With a heavy sigh, he shrugged and started walking toward his bedroom. Before he disappeared down the hallway, he called over his shoulder: "Don't overwork yourself, Connor. Try an' get some sleep. We have the day off tomorrow."

And with that, he went into this bedroom and shut the door. Connor was left alone with his thoughts once again. Ordinarily, that would've been fine. But on a night like this, when his stress levels were rising for no apparent reason, he had to admit, being alone... frightened him. Briefly, he considered changing his mind and telling Hank everything, but thought against it. The lieutenant was obviously tired, and he didn't need anything else bothering him. 

Shifting until he was lying down on the couch, Connor decided to take Hank's advice and enter rest mode. Surely, this whole ordeal would be better in the morning. But as he allowed his eyes to slip shut, as his processors started working at a slower pace, he could feel his stress levels creeping up again. Nevertheless, he ignored it in favor of going to sleep.

* * *

Hank woke abruptly, roused from sleep by some sort of loud noise. Groaning, he glanced over at his alarm clock. One in the morning. God-fucking-dammit. As much as he wanted to go back to bed, deal with whatever happened in the morning, he could already feel a knot forming in his gut. It wasn't worry--he didn't  _get_ worried--but it was enough to make him throw the covers off of himself and stand. No doubt, Sumo had blundered into something in the dark. Or something along those lines (though, he had to admit, that dog  _never_  bumped into anything). 

Opening his bedroom door, Hank stepped out into the hallway. Almost immediately, the knot in his gut nearly doubled in size until it was almost painful. The entire hallway was red. It took him a moment, one terrifying moment, to realize that no, it wasn't blood. It was the light from Connor's LED. But that did nothing to ease Hank's worry. He quickly walked toward the couch, unnerved by the unnatural crimson glow. 

Hank flipped on the lights--and felt his heart freeze. At first, he didn't know what he was seeing, and he could only stand there, rooted to the floor. Then, his mind kick-started again, and he rushed to the figure on the floor. Connor lay there, shaking uncontrollably, blue Thirium leaking from the corners of his mouth. As Hank knelt next to him and placed a gentle hand on his arm, he jerked away and started thrashing.

"Connor!" Hank all but shouted, gripping the android's shoulders and trying to hold him in place. "Connor snap out of it!" 

The android didn't seem to hear him. He continued shaking, desperately trying to free himself from Hank's arms. Unsure of what to do, the lieutenant used most of his weight to pin him. He knew it wasn't the best solution, but he didn't have any other ideas. 

"Hey, hey, take it easy, son." Hank tried to keep his voice from trembling. "It's okay. You're okay."

Connor's LED briefly flashed yellow, signaling that he'd heard him, then went back to red. Hank felt himself calm down a little. If Connor could hear him, then that meant he could still wake up. Refusing to look at the Thirium flooding from the android's mouth, Hank gently cupped his face in his hands and spoke in a tone he hadn't used since... since--

\--since Cole died.

"It's going to be okay, Connor." Hank gently brushed the hair from the android's forehead. "But you gotta open your eyes, for me. I can't help if I don't know what's going on."

The LED went to yellow again, but this time, it stayed there. Slowly, painfully slowly, Connor's eyes cracked open--just barely enough for Hank to see his brown irises, but they were a welcome sight. He breathed out a sigh of relief. 

"H-Hank?" Connor sounded confused, tired, and above all:  _scared._  "Hank, what's happening to me?"

Hank felt his heart fracture in his chest, but he powered through it, knowing Connor needed him to be strong.  _Not yet,_  he thought as he brushed the android's hair aside again.  _Don't freak out yet._

"I don't know," he admitted, deciding that the truth would be the best. Even as weak as he was, Connor would likely see through a lie. "But we're gonna find out. Think you can walk?"

Connor frowned, LED flickering red, then--thankfully--back to yellow. He looked up at Hank with wide, frightened eyes. "I don't know." A heavy pause. And then: "I could try."

Hank smiled reassuringly and got to his feet, offering his hand to help the android do the same. Miraculously, Connor managed to keep his balance, though he leaned on Hank heavily for support. Together, they made their way to the front door in an awkward shuffle. Hank commanded Sumo to stay as he fumbled with the lock. The dog whined, but did as he was told. 

Once they were outside, Hank guided Connor toward the car, careful to keep his footing on the icy ground. Connor shivered from the cold. Alarmed, Hank began to say something, then thought better of it when he realized what was happening. Connor was deviant. Of course he could feel cold now. Still, the lieutenant internally cursed at himself for not thinking to grab Connor a suitable jacket. The one he had--the one from Cyberlife--wasn't warm enough.

He helped Connor sit down in the passenger seat, then shut the door and hurried to the driver's side. The second he got the car running, he cranked up the heat as high as it could go. A quick glance over at Connor told Hank the action was appreciated. But for a moment, Hank saw something else, something that made him feel colder than the snow outside.

Connor's LED had turned off for a second. 

It was quick, almost quick enough for him to miss, but goddammit, Hank rarely missed anything these days. He sped off in the direction of New Jericho, determined to get Connor to the only people who would know what to do. 

"Hey Kid, do me a favor," he said, keeping his eyes on the road. "Don't fall asleep, okay? Just stay awake."

When Connor didn't respond, Hank risked another glance at him. Thankfully, the android's eyes were open, but they were unfocused. Hank pushed harder on the gas. He knew he was breaking every traffic law known to man, but at the moment, he couldn't bring himself to care. All of his attention was devoted to Connor, to keeping him alive. If Hank knew one thing and one thing only, it was this: he wasn't about to let his kid die. He'd already lost one son. He wouldn't-- _couldn't--_ lose another.

"Connor!" He allowed his voice to rise. "Stay awake. That's an order!"

The android blinked blearily and shifted his glassy eyes over to Hank. The lieutenant almost froze when he saw the fear in them.  _God, it looks just like--_

He shut down the thought before it could go any farther. Redoubling his efforts, he pushed the car nearly past its limits toward New Jericho. Connor remained silent next to him, staring at his feet. Thirium continued to drizzle from the corners of his mouth at an alarming rate. It almost looked like he was hemorrhaging. 

They reached New Jericho in record time. By then, Connor's eyes had slipped shut again, and his LED was flashing a terrifyingly faint red. Hank coaxed the car to a stop, then all but kicked his door open as he rushed to the passenger side to get Connor. The android wasn't moving, didn't even react when Hank unbuckled his seat belt and hefted him out of the car. He was dead weight in the lieutenant's arms. Hank tried not to think about what that could mean.

Androids scrambled to get out of his way as he hurried into the building. By some miracle, Markus stood close to the entrance, followed by someone else--North, if Hank remembered correctly. 

"Lieutenant Anderson?" Markus sounded confused as he stepped toward him. "What--"

He cut off when he caught sight of Connor's limp form, cradled securely against Hank's chest. For a moment, Markus just stared at them, clearly trying to process what was happening. Hank knew they didn't have time for that. Connor was already slipping away.

"Don't just stand there!" The lieutenant snapped. "Help!"

Immediately coming to his senses, Markus turned to North. "Get technicians in here with a gurney-- _now!"_

North almost seemed to pale, but nodded and immediately left to do as she was told. Satisfied, Markus turned back to Hank and extended his arms. "I'll take him."

Hank shook his head. "I got him." He couldn't quite keep the hard edge out of his voice, nor the slight tremor. 

"Lieutenant." Markus' tone was gentle as he took a step toward him, arms still outstretched. "It's okay. I won't hurt him."

Dimly, Hank was aware of two technicians rushing in with a gurney, and he ignored Markus in favor of gently laying Connor on to it. The lieutenant felt his back twinge, but he shoved the feeling aside. One of the technicians, a female android who looked no older than twenty or twenty-one, immediately began taking Connor's vitals. 

"Stress levels critical," she stated in a tone which suggested that was anything but good. "Wheel him to room three. We need to get him stabilized."

As they rushed Connor away, Hank made to follow them, but a firm hand on his arm kept him in place. He spun around to face Markus, fists clenched like he was ready to throw a punch. To give the android credit, he didn't even flinch. Instead, he made eye contact and said: "He'll be okay."

Hank felt the stress of the night beginning to take its toll. Taking a step back, he wrenched himself free of Markus' grasp and tiredly ran a hand through his hair. The android watched him with a sympathetic expression. It nearly drove Hank crazy. He didn't need anyone's pity right now, and definitely not from Android Jesus. 

"I can't lose him," Hank heard himself say, too exhausted and terrified to feel embarrassed about it. It was true: he  _coudn't_  lose Connor. Not now. Not after everything that had happened. "I... I just can't."

Markus nodded and reached out to take Hank's arm again. "I know, Lieutenant. But you have to trust that Connor will pull through. He's strong. You of all people should know that."

Allowing himself to be led to some sort of waiting room, Hank resigned to pace for the next three hours, stopping only to gratefully except a cup of coffee from North. It seemed to take forever, but eventually, the female technician from before walked into the room. Hank immediately went to her, but froze when he caught sight of the Thirium staining her uniform. 

_No..._

"Lieutenant Anderson?" Her voice sounded like it was coming from some long distance. Nevertheless, Hank managed to hear what she had to say. "Connor pulled through." She smiled reassuringly at him when he sagged in relief. "He's awake now, if you would like to see him."

All Hank could do was nod. He felt like he was floating as he followed the technician to the exam room. "What happened to him?" He asked, unable to stop himself. Part of him didn't really want to know, while the other part wouldn't live with himself unless he did.

The technician pursed her lips, clearly debating how much to tell him. "The short answer is that there was a glitch in his system," she eventually said. "It caused his stress levels to rise, with him not being able to lower them. Androids weren't built to handle that kind of..." She seemed to be struggling for the right word. "Tension. So we had to go in and manually fix the regulators." 

Hank nodded as if that made sense to him and didn't sound like a foreign language. "So... he's going to be okay?"

"He'll be fine." The technician smiled at him. "Connor's strong, a lot stronger than we thought. He wasn't going to go down without a fight." 

They reached the exam room and stopped just outside the door. The technician smiled at him again, gave him a soft good-bye, and took her leave. For a few seconds, Hank simply stood there, collecting himself. There was no sense in letting Connor know just how worried he'd been. He didn't need the kid's stress levels to start rising again. 

Sighing, Hank pushed open the door. Connor was lying in what looked like a hospital bed with a bunch of wires hooked up to his arm. He smiled tiredly when he caught sight of Hank and tried to haul himself into a sitting position. Hank was at his side in an instant, pushing him back down as gently as he could.

"Easy, son," he said. "Just relax for now, okay? You've been through a lot."

Connor gave him a sideways look, but nodded nonetheless. "That certainly feels... accurate."

Hank pulled up a chair and sat down, looking Connor over, making sure for himself that the kid really was alright. When he finally got an answer that satisfied him, he relaxed. 

"Why didn't you tell me something was wrong?" He demanded, then internally winced when Connor's brow furrowed. So much for keeping his stress levels low.

"Because I didn't want to worry you," the android said, sounding confused. "But now I'm starting to think I did anyways."

Struggling not to roll his eyes, Hank leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Just... tell me things from now on, okay? I don't wanna--"

The words  _"lose another kid"_  played on his lips, but he stopped himself before he could say them. 

"I don't wanna make this a habit."

The corners of Connor's lips twitched, as if he knew what Hank was really going to say, and he tipped his chin in what resembled a nod. "Got it."

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic for the fandom. I haven't played the game, only seen playthroughs, so if I made any plot mistakes, I'm sorry. Please let me know if you liked this story (and/or would like to see more in the future). Thanks for reading!
> 
> -Nopride


End file.
